Moderating consciousness

alone in my room, with its drab faded curtains and flaking walls. lying in bed, but awake. blank stares on the ceiling, tagging mundane thoughts as they flicker in my head. that's gross. kinky. forget about that one. that's stupid. there's this white thing growing, expanding on the surface of that board (dammit, had a hard time replacing it a few weeks ago). must be a new species of termite. or it may be a nest of that exotic wasp that has been attacking trees with red flowers all over manila. maybe just some form of fungus. or it may be a case of alien infestation. have to consult heinlein about it. or niven. or bova. or robinson. or even carl sagan (though he'd surely call it a hoax). wondering if they've already launched project new horizon to pluto. with my name on it. and also the names of my daughters. so now pluto has three moons. charon, you're not alone. nothing is stable now in our conception of the solar system. everything keeps on changing with every probe sent from gaia. funny though how some things seem to resist a highly fluid state. like species back here on earth. species are not immaterial, temporary states in the evolutionary process anymore. as they were thought to be in the time of darwin. they appear to be quite stable. well, in an evolutionary sense (does that make sense?). and evolution is not a permanent, gradual process. it occurs in rapid spurts. punctuated equilibria. at least that's what eldredge and gould would say (or that's how i understood them). got to paint these walls soon. and that ceiling too. people are rioting in france. i wonder how fanny and her family are doing. it's the los angeles syndrome. disempowered minorities haunting the modern prince. 

i'm hungry.